This Potter must die
Dec. 8th, 2005 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
re_mielСо всей этой ГП-шной истерикой в СМИ... А вы никогда не задумывались, чтобы было если если бы в самом мире ГП одному из учеников Хогвартса пришла бы в голову идея написать слэш? А я вот задумался. Это выглядело бы вот так:
DEATH EATER #1
Lord Voldemort, your council waits for you.
Walpurgis Knights are gathered here for you.
VOLDEMORT
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here.
We've not much time, and quite a problem here
MOB
Fanfiction Superstar!
Fanfiction Superstar!
Fanfiction Superstar!
Fanfiction Superstar!
LUCIUS
Look at that disgusting mob of mudbloods on the net!
A piece or two with queers - and they all are in a fret!
ALL
This is dangerous!
MOB
Potter the Superstar!
ALL
This is dangerous!
MOB
Tell us you're like they wrote you are.
DEATH EATER #2
This filth has begun to rally millions in support.
DEATH EATER #3
A rabble rousing fiction which I think we must abort.
ALL
This is dangerous!
MOB
Potter the Superstar!
ALL
This is dangerous!
DEATH EATER #2
What is this stuff..!? “H.P. - slash - Voldemort”..?
DEATH EATER #3
“nc, rape, snuff”..!? The author must be caught!!
VOLDEMORT
No, wait!
We need a more permanent solution to our problem.
LUCIUS
What did they find in these juvenile sentences,
Absence of grammar, tortured plot?
DEATH EATER #3
No climax, no punchline, no point, and no essence.
VOLDEMORT
One thing I'll say for it -- Potter is hot..!
LUCIUS
We dare not leave this to its own devices.
These half-witted fans and their sickening ways..!
DEATH EATERS
But how can we stop them?
The fanfics keep coming.
By dozens daily; all gayer than gay.
VOLDEMORT
I see bad things arising.
The minds of the young ones are easily bent.
I see many more fanfics,
Sordid affairs involving two men.
Many more fanfics involving two men.
ALL
Two men, two men, involving two men!
VOLDEMORT
Sordid affairs involving two men.
ALL
Two men, two men, involving two, 'nvolving two, 'nvolving two, 'nvolving two men.
DEATH EATER #3
What then to do about this graphomania?
LUCIUS
Now how do we deal with a media king?
DEATH EATERS
Where do we start with a fandom that's bigger
Than Trek had when Trek did its K'n'S thing?
VOLDEMORT
Fools, you have no perception!
The stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high!
This must perish completely.
As Dumbledore before him, this Potter must die.
For the sake of the nation, this Potter must die.
ALL
Must die, must die, this Potter must die.
VOLDEMORT
As Dumbledore before him, this Potter must die.
ALL
Must die, must die, this Potter must, Potter must, Potter must die!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 07:35 am (UTC)Респект.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 05:16 pm (UTC)А вы это - спойте.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 08:41 am (UTC)yes it is, yes it is, yes it is
oh, yes it i-i-is
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 05:50 pm (UTC)ничего, что по-русски?
Date: 2005-12-08 11:37 am (UTC)Re: ничего, что по-русски?
Date: 2005-12-08 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 04:33 pm (UTC)P.S.: Лора, Лора, а можно мне из вот этой аватарки:
сделать невдолбенную красоту как ты сделала здесь:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/rouge_et_blanc/4424.html
Я не хочу быть как в армии!! :))
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 06:36 am (UTC)С замиранием сердца жду той недели и невдолбенной красоты. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 06:20 am (UTC)Хахаха! Ха!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 12:21 pm (UTC)А что такое K'n'S?
Гм... Как предотвратить появление некрофилических фанфиков?
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 04:45 pm (UTC)А некрофиличиские фанфики, мне кажется, Волдеморт может только приветствовать. :))
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 06:22 am (UTC)ностальгия...
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 01:49 pm (UTC)Arigatoo)))
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 05:17 pm (UTC)Wonderful!
Date: 2005-12-08 02:42 pm (UTC)Where is this wonderous thing from? Is it yours? ... Is it meant to be sung to any particular tune?
Re: Wonderful!
Date: 2005-12-08 05:07 pm (UTC)And indeed the authorship is mine. :) To an extent - it is a parody of "This Jesus must die' aria from the (in)famous rock-opera "Jesus Christ Superstar". :) I have put the mp3 in question
up here (http://81.176.64.100/tincas/remiwww/music/jcs-07-this_jesus_must_die.mp3), if you are curious. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-08 08:57 pm (UTC)Ксинн:
Date: 2005-12-09 12:04 am (UTC)И офф-топик: мне хотелось бы с тобой связаться. Загляни в обозначенный в твоем userinfo почтовый ящик или напиши, как это сделать?
Re: Ксинн:
Date: 2005-12-09 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 09:24 am (UTC)"One thing I'll say for it -- Potter is hot..!" - это пять